Beginners Guide to Anal Play

Unfortunately, anal is still a bit of a taboo subject, not many people like to bring it up or talk about it, but it’s also one of the most pleasurable encounters if done correctly. But lucky for those who do enjoy anal, its popularity is on the rise, meaning soon everyone will openly be talking about it without shame. Like with any art, it takes time and skill to master, that’s why practice and research are essential. Luckily we’ve done all the hard work for you and compiled all you need to know into one handy guide.

Why you should consider anal

Anal is like marmite, you either love it or hate it, but you’ll never get a clear decision unless you try it correctly. Many things can go wrong (we’ve all heard the horror stories) if not done carefully and those moments are enough to put anyone off. So lay those thoughts to rest and let’s look at all the positives of anal sex.

Firstly we’ll start with the most essential point, it can make you orgasm so much more intense, electrifying even, and this is because during anal a woman’s g-spot gets rubbed from the other side. Twin this with clitoral stimulation, and you have a recipe for the greatest orgasm of your life. Although women weren’t blessed with a g-spot anally, luckily for us the wall that separates the vaginal and anus areas from the inside are thin, meaning we still get the effects, and boy are those effects intense! No longer do you need to fake the moans and groans, they’ll be 100% natural.

Secondly, trying something new can bring you and your partner so much closer, especially if you’re open with one another, to begin with. Talking to each other about your sexual desires and communicating about how you want to try things puts so much more trust in one another and deepens your relationship. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of naughtiness when you’ve tried something you’ve desired for a while, especially when you share that feeling with your partner. Not to mention, building trust in a relationship is a huge thing, and shouldn’t be overlooked, so doing something like anal, where you need communication and trust, is a great way to build it.

Lastly, it’s a great alternative that you both get something from when its that ‘time of the month’ with the bonus that you can’t get pregnant from it, what more of a reason do you need? We don’t need need to go into too much detail with this one, but like mentioned before, anal penetration and clitoral stimulation are all you need.

Anal myth busting

A lot of people tend to be put off anal because of the horror stories that circulate, and a fair few of them tend to be a load of rubbish, so lets bust some myths to put your mind to ease.

It’s dirty – This is something you’ll hear a lot and a reason why people won’t want to try anal. The truth is that it’s quite clean, even without anal douching. The lower part of the rectum doesn’t usually carry a lot of faecal matter, and that’s the only part the penis is going in (no matter how big they think they are). If this is a significant concern, but you still want to try anal, you can always ensure you have a bowel movement prior, as well as use a condom.

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You don’t need to use protection – Wrong! You should always practice safe sex, and just because you can’t get pregnant from anal, it does not mean you shouldn’t be using protection. STI’s can still be spread through anal intercourse, and they’re actually easier to spread this way, so make sure your partner always wraps up.

Your anus will get stretched – Just like the vagina, the anus can go back to its original size after anal sex. As long as it’s introduced carefully, and no injuries occur there should be no reason why it shouldn’t go back to its original size. If anal sex happens frequently, then the anus will become more relaxed, but not to the extent of you no longer having bowel control.

It will always hurt – If done incorrectly then yeah, it will always hurt and you will both likely get an injury during intercourse. But take the time to research it, know what you’re supposed to do and how you can prepare yourself for anal and it shouldn’t hurt. The tip of the penis will always be uncomfortable and possibly slightly painful when it enters as its the widest part, and you’re bound to be a little tense if its one of the first times you’ve done it. Once the head of the penis is out the way, and you’ve taken a few deep breaths you’ll forget all about it.

It’s not enjoyable for females – Like mentioned before, just because women don’t have prostates does not mean its not pleasant for them. The vagina and rectum are all so close to one another that the pleasure is spread out between both areas, and the orgasms are incredible. Most women will have an orgasm when any anal fun is involved; the proof is in the pudding!

Best anal positions

The Cowgirl – We’re all familiar with this one, The guy lies flat, and the girl sits on top. It is perfect for being in control of how fast, and how deep it goes. Not only will you get clitoral stimulation, but you’ll also look hot being in complete control.

Straddle his Saddle – Another favourite and a position that always leads to climax, this one this pretty much the same as the cowgirl, just with your partner in the sitting position rather than lying flat.

Missionary – This one is a little more complicated when it comes to anal, due to the positioning of the anus. With you lying on your back, put a cushion or two under your hips to tilt your pelvis forward, with your legs up by his shoulders, it should go in pretty smoothly and feels incredible.

Doggy Style – Obvious choice we know, and like before you’ll most likely be familiar with this position, but another favourite with anal. You know how it goes, girls on her hands and knees, while your partner takes control from behind, this is particularly great for foreplay as well as it keeps everything on show and easy to get to.

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Spooning – Another favourite with everyone, especially on those sleepy Sunday mornings, this is also a great position to enjoy anal in, especially if your partner reaches around and incorporates some clitoral stimulation. This position works brilliantly if you’re in the mood to take things slow. Again, we don’t feel we need to tell you how to do this one, but with both of you lying down, with the female facing away, slide it in with some lubricant and your sleepy Sundays will become the best day of the week.

How to prepare for anal

Lube – I know you’ve probably read this a thousand times as it’s in every article on every site, but please use lubricant. This is even more important when engaging in anal as the anus, unlike the vagina, lacks the production of natural lubricants. If you’re just in the process of preparation then using a waterbased lubricant for anal foreplay is perfect, but when it comes to the real business, you want a thicker lubricant such as a silicone based one, as its thicker and lasts longer. Not only does using lubricant feel great, but it also helps avoid those painful, injury-inducing moments.

Toys – Any excuse to use a toy right? Wrong, it’s pretty essential that you use a toy when preparing for anal. This can be done alone or with your partner, but getting yourself a small butt plug is a great way to get an idea of how it’s going to feel, and if you don’t have a butt plug, well now here’s your excuse to go shopping! There are many to chose from, but we highly recommend starting small and practising how to relax your anus when you’re inserting it, just to make it all that easier when it comes to the real thing. If you’re unsure on butt plugs, we have a guide to help you with that too! A thoughtful bunch aren’t we?

Communication – This is a step that really can’t be skipped. Talking about this with your partner will make the whole experience that much smoother. Let them know how you want to try it, what positions to use, and how you want to get it started. The reason you hear so many horror stories is that people will just try it in the heat of the moment, without preparation, and sometimes under the influence, and it all goes wrong. So talking about it and trying it in your own time is the way to go. Not only is communicating beforehand important but also communication during is. Let them know when its uncomfortable, or when it feels good, or when to stop. A little less conversation and a little more action isn’t always the best choice for a good time.

Stimulation – Stimulation of both the anus and the clitoris will have a tremendous impact on how relaxed you are, and how comfortable you’ll find insertion. Clitoral stimulation during anal is one of the best ways to ensure you enjoy it and also pretty much a guaranteed way to climax.

Shower/bath – Normally, shower or bath sex can be a bit iffy, someone always ends up with soap in their eyes, or you can get in a comfortable position, but when it comes to anal, showers and baths are a great place to be. All the weightlessness and water makes the whole experience so much easier. Just remember to use silicone lubricant when participating in water play.

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Speed – Steady on girl, its time to slow down and admire the scenery. Keep things at a pace where you can have control, especially if this is your first time. You don’t need to go at it in the same way as you would if you were having vaginal intercourse. There two very different holes and each needs to be treated in different ways, I mean after all one was made for this, the other we stumbled upon by accident. The speed of things also applies to how fast you try to progress to actual anal intercourse. As mentioned so many times previously, preparation is key to all this, you don’t need to be in a rush if you want to avoid injury and both have a good time you’ll want to repeat.

Size – We’ve sort of touched on this in previous points on our butt plug guide, but size does matter at the start. If you’re new to anal, then you need to work your way to having your partner inserted in there. The best way is to either buy a buttplug and follow our guide with that or start with a finger and some lubricant. Doing so will not only feel amazing but will also make the whole transition a hell of a lot more pleasurable for you both.

Keep it clean with fingers – If you’ve decided to take our advice on finger anal play, please make sure that if your partner still wants to have a fondle with vaginal play, that different fingers are used. Using the same fingers dramatically increases the chances of you getting a UTI, and we all know how painful they can be. Keeping some baby wipes close by is also a great idea.

Protection – It’s been said before, but we’ll say it again, please practice safe sex, even when participating in anal sex, as you can still catch and transfer STI’s. And always remember to change condoms when going from anal to vaginal intercourse.

Foreplay – There should always be foreplay involved when it comes to doing the deed, but especially when you’re taking the back entrance. This is because you want to be as relaxed and ready to go as possible. A massage is a great way to get things started, even more so when you focus around the bottom. Using lube to slip and slide around there will mean that there’s plenty around to help you out.

A little closing thought

If you’re doing this because you want to, then knock yourself out, but like all sexual acts, please don’t participate if you’re not entirely comfortable with the idea. Your happiness and well being comes before anyone else. You shouldn’t feel pressured into doing anything sexual such as anal to please your partner, as like we’ve mentioned, it can be slightly painful at first, and it does take a lot to be ready.